[Sacarsa] Feedback help

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nick_crenshaw82
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[Sacarsa] Feedback help

Post by nick_crenshaw82 » Wed Aug 03, 2016 2:36 am

What do you think of the following:

Before there was anything, there was only The Darkness. This force was the source of all existence that pre-dates anything of Ein Sof's creations, yet was evil and devoured all it could. Somehow, Uria and Ein Sof, The Darkness' younger brother, came into existence. Ein Sof creates many worlds to try and show The Darkness that they don't have to be alone, but The Darkness would always destroy whatever he created, giving him no choice but to seal her away. God created four Gods, those being Argena, Coreth, Romas, and Solis. Ein Sof rallied the Gods to go to war with The Darkness, and with their combined strength, they managed to imprison her.

Ein Sof created the Tarrasque, but fearing its destructive nature he created The Coalescence as its prison. Because of the ravenous hunger, Famine came into existence. Ein Sof created the heavens and the urth. “The heavens” refers to everything beyond the earth, Ascenica. The urth is made but not formed in any specific way, although water is present. Ein Sof then speaks light into existence. He then separates the light from the dark and names the light “day” and the dark “night.” God created the other gods, among them are Aggran, Amora, Aos, Charmeine, Galdorm, Hishrak, Intara, Lilianu, Neleva, and Twain.

Aggran, God of the Forge
Amora, Goddess of Love
Aos, God of Wealth
Argena, Goddess of the Moon
Charmeine, Goddess of the Hearth
Coreth, Goddess of Nature
Ein Sof, Creator God (Overdeity)
Galdorm, God of Violence
Hishrak, God of Tyranny
Intara, Goddess of Magic
Lilianu, God of Woodlands
Neleva, Goddess of Retribution
Romas, God of the Sea
Solis, God of the Sun
Twain, God of Illusions & Humor
Uria, Goddess of Death
Last edited by nick_crenshaw82 on Thu Aug 04, 2016 12:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Big Mac
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Re: Feedback help

Post by Big Mac » Wed Aug 03, 2016 7:33 am

I can't see any flaws in your logic Nick.

Are you making this for D&D? Are you going to assign alignments to the deities at some point (for clerics)?

BTW: The Piazza uses a special tagging system for anything that is sharing a forum with other stuff. (People can then use the search system to find all topics with that tag in the title.) You might want to think of a tag to add to the title of this topic, and and any follow up topics you might make later. :-)
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nick_crenshaw82
The Gaming Noob
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Re: Feedback help

Post by nick_crenshaw82 » Wed Aug 03, 2016 7:14 pm

Big Mac wrote:BTW: The Piazza uses a special tagging system for anything that is sharing a forum with other stuff. (People can then use the search system to find all topics with that tag in the title.) You might want to think of a tag to add to the title of this topic, and and any follow up topics you might make later. :-)
How do I tag my posts?

nick_crenshaw82
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Re: Feedback help

Post by nick_crenshaw82 » Wed Aug 03, 2016 8:11 pm

nick_crenshaw82 wrote:Aggran, God of the Forge
Amora, Goddess of Love
Aos, God of Wealth
Argena, Goddess of the Moon
Charmeine, Goddess of the Hearth
Coreth, Goddess of Nature
Ein Sof, Creator God (Overdeity)
Galdorm, God of Violence
Hishrak, God of Tyranny
Intara, Goddess of Magic
Lilianu, God of Woodlands
Neleva, Goddess of Retribution
Romas, God of the Sea
Solis, God of the Sun
Twain, God of Illusions & Humor
Uria, Goddess of Death
Aggran: aka: Stone Fist, Forge’s Fury
Favored Weapon: War Hammer
Symbol: Hammer striking an anvil
Dogma/Duties: Worshippers believe that his teachings strengthen the community, showing them how to live together, defend themselves, and craft stone and steel. Temples of Aggran showcase the extraordinary skills of the flock. It is considered a great honor to be asked to partake in the building of a new temple. Services often encompass the congregation all working a complex bellows system, while the priests and craftsmen create items for the community. Nearly all Dwarves worship Aggran.
[Aggran is god of the dwarves, but he’s also the god of the forge and blacksmithing in this pantheon. Metalworkers and smiths of all races revere him, but the dwarves believe Aggran specifically created them on his forge and gave them life.]

Amora. A.k.a.: The Smiling Heart, Trysting Fate, Amora True-Love
Favored Weapon: Longbow
Symbol: Girdle
Dogma/Duties: Amora represents love in all aspects; romantic love, desire, affection, lust, infatuation, love between a husband and wife, love shared between close friends, etc. Priests are expected to promote love, especially when there are obstacles preventing it (for example; two young lovers whose family objects to the relationship). Clerics teach that love is a spiritual force that can lift the spirit, and receive divine blessings. Only the truly loving ascend to the most beatific afterlife. Churches are usually large, open spaced buildings of simple tastes. Regular weekly services are forgone, in favor of annual celebrations of love. These include grand weddings, as well as lavish anniversaries.

Aos: aka: The Lucky Trader, King Sticky Fingers, Untouchable One, Untouchable Cheat, The Great Count
Favored Weapon: Sap
Symbol: Balanced merchants scale, a coin on each.
Dogma/Duties: Priests of Aos are often found in fund-raising roles. Different guilds use them as book-keepers, or financial advisors, in exchange for large tithes to the church. Usually found only in cities and towns, the churches are nearly always grand affairs. Some priests are quite nefarious, only looking to make money for themselves in Aos’ name. Others strive for the prosperity of entire communities. The god seems indifferent so long as the bottom line is a gain for the church. Church services are more akin to business seminars. Much of the flock is quite fickle, becoming devout only in times of financial difficulty.

Argena: aka: The Silver Shining, Silver-Wheel
Favored Weapon: Bow & Arrow
Symbol: Golden Arrow, Hound Dog, Stag, Moon
Dogma/Duties: Artemis teachers her followers to take power into their own hands and remain unattached to the world around them. The Goddess has never been wed or given birth, and expects the same from her followers.
[Solis and Argena are husband and wife who pursue each other across the sky, but never quite end up in the same place. Days when both the sun and moon are visible are considered auspicious.]

Charmeine aka: The healing touch, The gentle hand
Favored Weapon: Heavy mace
Symbol:Two snakes wrapping around a mace
Dogma/Duties: Those who seek to live in accordance with the way of the Provider will be blessed with a cornucopia of riches. Seek peace and comfort, for a life lived with both is true wealth.
Although violence should never be welcomed, the Protector's aegis will extend to those willing to fiercely defend their home and community. Lead through example, and know the activities of those you lead so that you can help shoulder their burdens when need be. Treasure your family, for your parents gave you life and your children are your future. Care for the aged and the weak, for you never know when you may be one of the strong laid low.
[Charmeine, goddess of Halflings, is already associated with hearth, home, and protection, so she takes those under her portfolio. She’s a very popular goddess among common people, honored and called upon for blessing hearth and home.]

Coreth: aka: Mother Nature
Favored Weapon: Staff
Symbol: A round disc, divided into quadrants (brown, two blues, and red).
Dogma/Duties: Teachings of Coreth stress that nature is a power to worship, and fear. It is stressed that man is insignificant when compared to the power of nature. They believe that for every blessing provided by nature, Coreth will take a repayment somewhere, sometime.

Galdorm: aka Ravager, The Insatiable Anger
Favored Weapon: Flail
Symbol: A flail over a bloody field.
Dogma/Duties: Priests of Galdorm follow the teaching that the weak should follow the strong, or be crushed. If you are strong enough to lay claim to something (by any means possible), then it is yours by right. In doing so, you should cause as much mayhem as possible in getting it. Causing pain and misery gives Galdorm and his followers power. Mercy is a mental condition of the weak.
[Galdorm, god of the orcs, is well suited to also become the god of slaughter, senseless warfare, and violence, worshipped by all people who delight in bloodshed.]

Hishrak: aka: Supreme Overlord, Cosmic Bully
Favored Weapon: Whip
Symbol: A coiled snake, eating it’s tail.
Dogma/Duties: The clergy of Hishrak follow a very rigid pecking order. Everyone has a position, and is expected to fit a role. It is through this system, that they attempt to attain supremacy. Individual rites are nullified, replaced with dedication to the church or state. Mercy and compassion are encumbrances that impede church and community success. A few smaller islands have adopted Hishrak as the state religion.
[Hishrak has the head of a cobra.]

Intara: aka: The hand that weaves the magic, Hand of Magic, Mother Magic
Favored Weapon: Dagger
Symbol: Brazier with a yin-yang symbol in it.
Dogma/Duties: Priests of Intara are so dedicated to the study of all things magical that they have no time or energies left for moral or ethical debate. In fact, because of the fact that they actively avoid moral and ethical views, their temples are often used to safeguard records. Worship typically involves reporting sessions in which clerics record new knowledge. Temples house records halls, libraries, research labs, and often training grounds for wizards.

Lilianu: aka: Saint Sylvan
Favored Weapon: club
Symbol: Oak-leaf
Dogma/Duties: Lilianu’s priests tend to be loners, who wander a certain tract of forest, ensuring no evil is encroaching on its borders. They believe that the peace and well-being of a single creature, plant, or tree is often worth fighting bitterly over. It is for this reason that they are often consulted before hinting or logging takes place. Priests believe peace and harmony of a natural, pristine forest sheds out from the plants and animals, and into them. Forest glades are the most common temples. Druids, although different from the priests, often revere Lilianu.
[Lilianu is god of the elves, and he’s also god of the forest and patron of rangers and druids.]

Neleva: aka: Eternal Justicar, The long, straight-arm of the law
Favorite Weapon: Bastard Sword
Symbol: A lit candle, with a single eye beneath it.
Dogma/Duties: The clergy of Neleva ensure vengeance on those who deserve it, right wrongs, punish the wicked, and avenge those who cannot avenge themselves. Members of the flock, need not actively worship, in order to have the deity help them in this regard. Generally, priests must learn what they can of the situation, decide who is right, and who is wrong, and then take steps to punish the guilty party. Clerics of the order have a special knack for making the punishment suit the crime. Since situations arise, in which they must work above the law, they frequently perform these activities secretly.

Romas: aka: The Aquan Juggernaut, Davy Jones
Favored Weapon: Trident
Symbol: Octopus (often holding tridents)
Dogma/Duties: Followers of this popular god are usually robust and wild, in their eating, drinking, and merry-making. It is said they act this way, because they never know when the sea will welcome them to it’s briny depths. Personal freedom and individuality are the prime directives of the deity. On the world of Aris, that is 90% water covered, it is no surprise that Romas is so popular. Priests of Romas are welcomed and hired aboard any sea-faring vessel. Temples are often built on floating docks, right in sea-ports, so sea-farers can pay their respects just before (and sometimes after!) a sea-voyage.
Romas is:

Solis: aka: Light-bringer, Morning Lord, Sir Darksbane.
Favored Weapon: Long sword
Symbol: Twelve-pointed star.
Dogma/Duties: Teachings include that the strength of good is best taught primarily through military might towards opponents, and secondarily through charity and modesty towards all others. It is believed by priests of Solis that by performing so many deeds of good, that evil has no room to exist. Justice, chivalry, valor, and honor must be followed day in and day out.

Twain: aka: The Laughing Prankster, The Clever Ruse
Favorite Weapon: Short Sword
Symbol: Moebius strip
Dogma/Duties: Most Priests of Twain delight in humor, and mischief for its own sake. They are usually working on several hidden agendas at any one time. More often than not, Twain’s clerics will be using clever plots to fix problems. Followers often ask for advice from the priests, and unwittingly further the goals of the church. Of course, if the patron is a devout follower, he will be aided as well, though not necessarily in the exact manner that they imagined.
Twain is:
On good terms with Aos, Lilianu, Intara.
Indifferent towards Coreth, Galdorm, Aggran, Romas, Solis, Uria, Charmeine.
On bad terms with Amora, Hishrak, Neleva.
Twain, is the god of the gnomes, but he’s also the god of trickery, illusion, humor, and cleverness. He’s worshiped by bards and some sorcerers, as well as gnomes, and he’s the patron of artists and performers.

Uria aka: Queen of the land of the dead, The grim reaper
Favored Weapon: scythe
Symbol: Grim Reaper death shroud with scythe
Dogma/Duties: Death, disease, hatred, and wickedness are the tools followers of Uria use to sabotage benevolence in all it’s forms. Uria is an unfathomable evil, sinister in her intelligence and great power. A sect of Uriah deals with the undertaking of the dead, and is the only one that operates openly with any regularity. Many other sects create undead armies to reign terror on all others. It is a common belief among the flock that all things must die, including self, and that you should send as many as possible to Uriah before you go.
Uriah is:
On good terms with Galdorm, Hishrak.
Indifferent towards Amora, Aos, Coreth, Twain, Intara, Romas.
[Uria is described her as either a beautiful woman or a lich-like corpse.]

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Yaztromo
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Re: Feedback help

Post by Yaztromo » Wed Aug 03, 2016 9:51 pm

nick_crenshaw82 wrote:
Big Mac wrote:BTW: The Piazza uses a special tagging system for anything that is sharing a forum with other stuff. (People can then use the search system to find all topics with that tag in the title.) You might want to think of a tag to add to the title of this topic, and and any follow up topics you might make later. :-)
How do I tag my posts?
For example you could change the title of the thread into "Feedback help[Insertherethenameofyourhomebrewworld]" or "[Insertherethenameofyourhomebrewworld]Feedback help"

this way it will be easier following the posts related to your homebrew world.
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making all my Nowhere plans for Nobody.

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Big Mac
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Re: Feedback help

Post by Big Mac » Tue Aug 16, 2016 12:51 pm

Yaztromo wrote:
nick_crenshaw82 wrote:
Big Mac wrote:BTW: The Piazza uses a special tagging system for anything that is sharing a forum with other stuff. (People can then use the search system to find all topics with that tag in the title.) You might want to think of a tag to add to the title of this topic, and and any follow up topics you might make later. :-)
How do I tag my posts?
For example you could change the title of the thread into "Feedback help[Insertherethenameofyourhomebrewworld]" or "[Insertherethenameofyourhomebrewworld]Feedback help"

this way it will be easier following the posts related to your homebrew world.
Yaztromo has it right, but here is an example of someone else's tag.

Angel Tarragon is starting some of this homebrew topic titles with a "[Oearra]" tag.

And with a bit of phpBB search magic, you can use that tag to find all the Oearra on The Piazza. (It's almost like having your own private forum, for your homebrew setting. :) )
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