Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

"Let us create vessels and sails adjusted to the heavenly aether, and there will be plenty of people unafraid of the empty wastes." — Kepler
The Book-House: Find Spelljammer products.

Moderators: Big Mac, night_druid

Jaid
Fire Giant
Posts: 1246
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2008 4:26 am

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by Jaid »

well, it's been a while since you posted this last one, and I'm finally getting around to it :P

(i didn't forget, i just sort of got busy doing other things :oops: )

overall, i like it. I do think the area should probably have another industry of note; if this is the preferred place for many ships to land to then do business all around the rest of the planet, to the point where a local company has a 12-ship fleet (and is considering expanding) to take visitors all over the world, there should probably be a significant portion of the locals working in taverns and inns down near the waterfront, more so than usual. you do have a few specific businesses mentioned, but i also think it could be worked into the overall description of the town as well. if there are half a dozen ships docked at any given time, some of them for up to a month, i would expect a fair number of businesses catering to the sailors.



Kettleton, 2nd paragraph: "...makes Kettleton the capital of textiles on Radole..." (maybe "... makes Kettleton the textile capital of Radole..." instead?)

3rd paragraph: "Kettleton is a city of stockades..." (stockades are walls made of pointy logs, usually used in forts and such... i'm assuming you mean something more like fences for all the sheep? or maybe there's something i don't know about ancient sheep farms, and stockades are used there. anyways, i'm not sure of any direct word replacement, but maybe pastures?)

"...the near-monopoly on the textile industry on Radole..." (not sure if it's an actual error, but i feel like it sounds better with "their near-monopoly")

"Instead, the Nacle’s invest..." (no apostrophe there)

Landmarks

Kettleton Docks: "The Docks more resembles an..." (resemble)

"...they prefer the similar design..." (pretty sure that's supposed to be simpler design)

2nd paragraph: "...to prevent accidents or things from disappearing." (sounds like the accidents are disappearing. might work to just put in a comma, or to replace the "or" with "and keep" (you could also go with prevent a second time, but if you recall i don't like using the same word too many times too close together :P )

Nacle Ranch: "...and kitchens is the Nacle family vaults." (are the Nacle family vaults)

"The finer collection of Winterspace starcharts..." (A finer collection...)

2nd paragraph: "The best members to deal with are Lady Hildra or Gorvin." (makes it sound like it's Lady Hildra or Lady Gorvin... not sure how to best clarify that though. you could put in an extra comma just to try and make it stand out as a separate thought maybe?)

"Fortunately the rest of the Nacle family generally keeps her out-of-sight..." (i believe that should just be "keep her out-of-sight")

Radole Fleet Yard: "...with two pair of..." (pairs)

"Security at the Fleet Yard probably..." (is probably)

there is no line separating the above paragraph and the ruins of ranch toraul.

Ruins of Ranch Toraul: "...who formally dominated the lands..." (formerly, not formally)

Naiad Shipping: the prices here feel pretty low. At 2 silver per ton to ship anywhere on Radole, you're looking at 1 gold piece for a full load to anywhere (dragonfly is a 10-ton ship with 5 tons of cargo space). with 3 crew, one of which must be a helmsman, i don't think they can break even, let alone turn a profit, charging those rates, unless there are quite a few passengers (i mean, they'll certainly turn a profit on a full load of passengers, so that's something i guess).

Mutton Shoppe: "Ask for Jothar if you patron the Shoppe..." (it's actually patronize; a patron is someone who patronizes or provides patronage. patronize does have another meaning, of course, and if you want to avoid that mix-up, you might try "frequent" as another less commonly used word. or you could just say visit, i suppose :P )

The Grand Loom (2nd paragraph): "...reporting back strange arcane machines..." (feels off... not quite sure what to do here, it looks like you changed what you wanted to say and didn't quite complete it? anyways, maybe "...reporting back with stories of strange arcane machines..." ?)

"...of alien creatures that wander the halls, and their secretions give rise..." (hmmm... i think "...that alien creatures wander the halls, and their secretions give rise..." flows a bit better. YMMV on this one though)

Taverns

The Hungry Dragon: "...the crowd often subdued, many dining and..." (i would suggest "with" before "many")

The Wild Faun

The Provender: "...served by the bowl with a haunch of bread..." (a haunch is actually a specific part of an animal's body, and does not strictly apply to bread. if you wish to imply quantity, but don't want to call it a loaf, maybe a basket?)

Traveler's Lore: "...into lemure monkeys..." (perhaps you meant lemur. Lemure would be a type of fiend in D&D, and while i suppose it is possible you did in fact mean demon monkeys, i get the impression that was not what you meant :P )

Inns

A Dozing Shepherd

The Prospect: "The clean rooms and hardy meals..." (you probably meant hearty; hardy is usually used to mean something is capable of surviving in difficult conditions, for example a plant that can survive in cold winter, or a warrior who has survived many battles. that said, it doesn't feel out of place or anything like that).

The Provender: as above, you used hardy, probably wanted hearty.

Traveler's Lore: "...when the staff is not looking." ("are", not "is", unless you are talking about a sentient magical stick of some sort)

"...that is not to say that more than a few disappearances have happened over the years..." (i think you intended for this to be a double negative, but got mixed up along the way. if so, change "have" to "haven't)

The Lazy Wolf

The Prospect: "A cot, of if ye are lucky..." ("or", not "of"). I would add a note in this paragraph that if there is a skylight, it should be remembered that the roof is flat and has stairs leading right up to it where people can rent a hammock cheaply... that is, there are probably *people* around that skylight, or could be at least :P

The Leaping Trout: "...second level of rooms at what ordinarily be the cellar-level." (it might just be that your smuggler is talking like a pirate, but if not, it should be "...what would ordinarily...")

The Prospect: "...more than is me preference." (again, this might be talking like a pirate, but if not then it is "my", not "me")



Not sure if you posted the 2,000ish words you mentioned about Ryme... you mentioned you had hit the character limit, so I haven't checked if there's anything new in the first post, I kind of assumed you wouldn't have been able to fit it =S anyways, if you did, I haven't proofread there yet :P

User avatar
night_druid
Radiant Dragon
Posts: 6774
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:08 pm
Gender: male

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by night_druid »

Jaid wrote:
Tue Mar 05, 2019 7:03 am
well, it's been a while since you posted this last one, and I'm finally getting around to it :P

(i didn't forget, i just sort of got busy doing other things :oops: )
Don't worry, been kinda busy myself. :) Between running a game and being sick just about every other week this winter (OK, not that bad, but twice down sick for 2+ weeks makes it feel like it).

Good points all around, I'll get to them when I get home tonight :)
Not sure if you posted the 2,000ish words you mentioned about Ryme... you mentioned you had hit the character limit, so I haven't checked if there's anything new in the first post, I kind of assumed you wouldn't have been able to fit it =S anyways, if you did, I haven't proofread there yet :P
I forget if I posted it or not; I don't think so as I think I got sidelined with something else.
Moderator: Spelljammer, Kingdoms of Kalamar. My moderator voice is green

Jaid
Fire Giant
Posts: 1246
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2008 4:26 am

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by Jaid »

well, i just noticed i have another link to another post you made, so i've still got some work left to do here :P

hopefully i'll get around to it shortly...

Jaid
Fire Giant
Posts: 1246
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2008 4:26 am

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by Jaid »

night_druid wrote:
Sat Oct 20, 2018 9:11 pm
Time for another update. This time its the city of Eskiir on Radole, a "mage city". Hope you enjoy the results :)

While this city was relatively easy to write, I got stuck on the taverns and last inn for a week due to outside forces eating up my time. I still like the results. And the name "Four Owlbears and a Bed" just sounds so D&Dish :)
so that ^ is the link i had sitting in my favourites to remind me to proofread :P

I do like the sound of 'Four Owlbears and a Bed' myself :P

Overall, it sounds like a place the PCs will want to visit, but which probably doesn't want the PCs to visit. Perhaps a place to stop at, and then head out. I especially like the minor magical item shop that sells things that are convenient for regular people. There really should be more of those... even if we were to presume there was no market for magic items (a claim which always struck me as silly - maybe it isn't like going to wal-mart, but there's going to be a market of some kind), the wizards making the magic items are imo FAR more likely to think "I would really like to have a permanent unseen servant following me around to do whatever I want' than 'I should make a +5 vorpal sword that I have absolutely zero training in, and which is utterly useless to me because I spend all my time alone in a tower protected by things other than myself which also have absolutely zero need for a +5 vorpal sword'. Stuff like self-lighting pipes, candles that produce a nice smell, storage containers that keep things fresh (seriously, what does a wizard that never goes anywhere need a bag of holding for?), stoves that don't need to be lit, hearths that keep a room at whatever temperature you want, a bookshelf that delivers whatever book you reach for to your hand, etc... there should be way more stuff like that for sure!

Anyways, on to proofreading:

Ekiir, paragraph 5: "...this is no more evident in that..." (I'm not sure, but I'm going to suggest simply removing the 'no more')

paragraph 7: "...always mind ye business..." (should be 'yer' or 'your', not 'ye')

Landmarks

Prism Peak Castle: "...illuminates the entire hill so no part of the hill is ever cast in shadows..." (maybe replace 'the hill' with 'it' on that second one just to get rid of doubling up on the hill).

"Strange magic pervades through the Castle..." (you don't need the 'through')

Museum Historica: "...on the lookout for more artifacts for display..." (I'd go with 'to display' rather than 'for display')

Shops

Gifts of the Stars: "...mechanical songbirds tokens that..." (either songbird, no 's', or you could remove 'tokens')

The Alchemist's Shack: "...where potions can be purchase." (purchased, with a 'd')

"...with some potions costing in upwards of 1,000 g.p. or more." ('in' should not be there)

Magisters and Tailors: "...it be best to look ye best..." ('yer' or 'your' best, not 'ye')

Taverns

Candlebright: "A frequent game involves an elaborate prank is played..." (I'm struggling with this one, to keep it similar but sounding right... I think "A game involving elaborate pranks is frequently played...")

An Eternal Sunset: "Haunches of meat roast on skewers over an open flame..." ('are roasted')

Inns

A Slumbering Shepherd: "...to aide her in running the inn." ('aid'. For future reference, 'aide' is used as in 'aide de camp')

Four Owlbears and a Bed: The Place, paragraph 2: "Doors near the rear lead to the kitchens, and through which wafts of spiced foods originate." (don't think you need the 'and')

"...are the four ubiquitous owlbears..." (ubiquitous means something is found everywhere, commonplace, etc; I don't think it's the word you wanted, going by context. the owlbears are the inn's namesake... but that doesn't fit into the sentence exactly, nor did any synonym i looked up. Anyways, I think you wanted a different word here, but I'm not sure what it was).

"The wait staff dresses as hardy adventurers..." (just 'dress', not 'dresses')

There is no blank line between the above paragraph and the next one.

paragraph 3: "...one or more owlbear will animate." ('owlbears', with an 's')

"...for her clumsiness ." (there's a space before that period that shouldn't be there)

The Prices, paragraph 2: "A tallglass of wine..." (I don't drink, so to be honest I have no idea if a tallglass is a thing or not... if it isn't, then I presume you missed a space)

Tavern Lore: "She dwelled elsewhere in the in the city..." (I've more often seen 'dwelt'. Google seems to think it's fine, my spellchecker is complaining, so... do what you want with that. But you've also got 'in the' twice in that sentence)

paragraph 3: "Another tale involves the Tome of the Dragon, a book rumored to hold potent and forbidden spells and crafted from the hide of a mithril dragon, was discovered..." (a long quote to show a small thing... I believe this should say 'which was discovered...')

"...fighting to authorities..." (I presume you wanted 'to keep authorities...')

"...and the Tome stolen." (I think you should probably have 'the Tome was stolen'.)

"To where it disappeared, none can say." (not sure on this one; I think 'Where it disappeared to, none can say.' is more correct).

There is no blank line between paragraph 3 and 4.

paragraph 4: "Of more recent times..." ('In more recent times...')

"...there were some dark rumors whispered." (doesn't feel quite right, or at least, not to me. I've tried to work out in my head how to make it feel more right, and the best I can come up with is '...I heard some dark rumors' which I don't think quite lends it the atmosphere that you were looking for. I'm not sure what to do here... perhaps just leave it and chalk it up to being how the Kraken speaks)

"Some fear that the Society was delving into dark arts." (you have disagreeing tenses here... either 'Some fear that the Society is delving into dark arts' or 'Some feared that the society was delving into dark arts' would be fine, but this sentence means that people used to worry about it, implying that they no longer do, which I don't believe is your intent)

"The rumors claim that Society members were..." (again, disagreeing tenses... 'claimed' and 'were', or 'claim' and 'are' would be what you want)

"...other planar creatures..." (I'm not certain there's a standard grammar for this, but I think this should be 'other-planar'. As written, I think it means something like you're saying "not those planar creatures, the other planar creatures")

"...at my expense ." (another period with a space before it).

User avatar
Lord Torath
Thri-Kreen Starfarer
Posts: 390
Joined: Wed Feb 23, 2011 7:02 pm
Gender: male
Location: Utah, USA

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by Lord Torath »

Jaid wrote:
Tue Mar 19, 2019 8:21 am
"...with some potions costing in upwards of 1,000 g.p. or more." ('in' should not be there)
I'd argue you could also lose the "or more", as that's what "upwards of" means.
Jaid wrote:
Tue Mar 19, 2019 8:21 am
Magisters and Tailors: "...it be best to look ye best..." ('yer' or 'your' best, not 'ye')
Unless ye be going for a piratey accent, me lad. ;) No, reading it again, I think it needs to be a "yer", to show ownership.
Jaid wrote:
Tue Mar 19, 2019 8:21 am
"...are the four ubiquitous owlbears..." (ubiquitous means something is found everywhere, commonplace, etc; I don't think it's the word you wanted, going by context. the owlbears are the inn's namesake... but that doesn't fit into the sentence exactly, nor did any synonym i looked up. Anyways, I think you wanted a different word here, but I'm not sure what it was).
How about "eponymous" or "titular", both referring to the thing something is named for.
Jaid wrote:
Tue Mar 19, 2019 8:21 am
"The wait staff dresses as hardy adventurers..." (just 'dress', not 'dresses')
This one could go either way. "The wait staff dresses as hardy adventures, while the cleaning staff dresses as jesters. Both staffs dress as the opposite gender." Staff can be singular, even when made up of multiple people. Also, those are just examples, not suggestions for how the staffs should dress.
Jaid wrote:
Tue Mar 19, 2019 8:21 am
"...there were some dark rumors whispered." (doesn't feel quite right, or at least, not to me. I've tried to work out in my head how to make it feel more right, and the best I can come up with is '...I heard some dark rumors' which I don't think quite lends it the atmosphere that you were looking for. I'm not sure what to do here... perhaps just leave it and chalk it up to being how the Kraken speaks)
"...dark rumors whisper of..."
My Spelljammer stuff: Dropbox Feel free to use or not use as you see fit. :)

User avatar
night_druid
Radiant Dragon
Posts: 6774
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:08 pm
Gender: male

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by night_druid »

Big update to Ryme, but I hit the character limit again! :o So I'll post the city of Thunri-Chul here! :)

BTW, LOTS of footnotes to this one. So you may see odd spaces that generally indicate a footnote that didn't make it to HTML.

Edit: Dangit, forgot to mention the most important part - YES, this city IS inspired by Glacial Rift of the Frost Giant Jarl. Take that for what you want ;)

Thunri-Chul
The only civilized city on Ryme is Thunri-Chul. Located on one of the largest ice sheets, Thunri-Chul is a city of rymejotun. It resembles an enormous glacial rift, two miles long, three quarters of a mile wide, and a thousand feet deep. The walls are honeycombed with interconnected ice caves. Some apertures are wide enough to allow passage of ships to the docking caverns. Most are designed for smaller vessels, such as dragonflies and wasps, while a few can handle squidships and hammerships.

Thunri-Chul is vast, with a population of three thousand rymejotun. A further five thousand non-rymejotun dwell in the city. Some are servants for the rymejotun; many others are visitors from other worlds. All may come and trade; Thunri-Chul is a neutral port. Pirates on occasion journey here to fence the fruits of their “labors”. The elves are known to keep an eye on this port, so only the bravest or most foolish pirates stay here long, lest they attract unwanted attention. Elven ships have been known to tail pirate ships out of Thunri-Chul to arrest them and impound the ship once they break Ryme’s atmosphere. It is more common to see vessels of less savory organizations, such as those out of Zhentil’s Keep, Thay, Tauruspace, the Scarlet Brotherhood, and even the Knights of Takhisis. Thunri-Chul offers such merchants an opportunity to acquire Winterspace wares without the hassles of more “lawful” ports.

The elves and Radole Defense Fleet largely leave Thunri-Chul to their own devices. Conquering or destroying the city would require far more resources than either fleet could muster, for little gain. The giants have shown little interest in building their own fleet, preferring to on occasion send a mere one or two vessels into the void to sate curiosity or further schemes. Currently the elves choose to keep eyes on Thunri-Chul to spy on the goings-on of such dangerous powers as Thay, the Scarlet Brotherhood, and the Minotaurs.

Landmarks
Hall of the Jarls
The ruler of Thunri-Chul is the Jarli Folkk the Fair, a being of unearthly beauty, intelligence, and cunning. Her splendid hall is where she holds court. Gaining an audience with the fair lady is frustratingly impossible. She rarely takes an audience from non-rymejotun, and expects a gift when she does. Folkk’s throne of electrum and platinum sits upon a raised platform, her glacier drake curled up near her feet. She is flanked on both sides by her vizier and suitor. I found her to be pleasant to chat with, as royalty goes, and she was quite curious about the Known Spheres. She seemed particularly impressed by my tales of daring and swashbuckling across the stars!

The Caverns of Endless Illusions
This vast cavern complex is eerily still, with only a light breeze slipping in from the many entrances, and only around the area of said entrance. It is a labyrinth of side passages, dead-ends, and tunnels that twist back upon one another. The walls have a mirror-like sheen to them, causing any light to bend and refract in bizarre ways. Apprentice rymejotun illusionists learn their craft here and master illusionists use the caverns to settle disputes through illusions. It is said that there is so much lingering illusionary magic here that the very caverns have taken on a life of their own, taunting non-giants with endless phantasmal sights and sounds so as to drive them insane.

Castle Crimson
This strange structure juts from the cliff wall, anchored by unknown means to the glacier. It is a castle keep with four turreted towers, all constructed of a deep red stone. It was the dwelling of Abbon the Ironmind, an exiled Red Wizard. What crimes against his homeland he committed, he never spoke of, but he trained wizards and traded in exotic spell components until his death twenty years ago. Agents in scarlet masks were spotted entering the Castle by stealthy means. The giants cared little about the affairs of smaller folk, and only took interest when a great spell battle erupted over the Castle. Before it was done, a dozen charred corpses fell into the mists below, and part of one tower was blasted asunder by terrific magic. Abbon died that day yet his corpse still walks the Castle, hurling killing magic at trespassers. His ghost wanders freely and separately, eternally seeking revenge against those that stole his precious Art.

Welcome Cavern Four
There are many so-called “Welcome Caverns” dotting the cliff walls. These are caverns large enough for ships to land and take shelter from the howling winds and biting cold of Ryme’s hostile atmosphere. Welcome Cavern Four is the largest; it has doors large enough to allow ships as large as hammerships to pass through. Top-heavy ships, such as galleons, cannot enter due to their extensive rigging. Up to two large ships, or six smaller vessels, can dock here at any given time. Cradles of ice and wood allow water-landing craft to dock here and trade. Be forewarned that it is best advised to keep stays short. If a ship is docked too long here, a sheet of ice will build around the points where the ship touches the dock, grounding the ship until removed. Trying to take off prior to removal of this ice can be damaging to yer ship! Trust me, it is always best to keep a crewman or two on ice-removal duty for those times ye need to make a dramatic escape.

Shops
Ole Winteriht’s
Ran by a cantankerous old rymejotun, this shop sells all manner of goods. One never knows what will be found for sale here, from Zeifian rugs to Istarian tapestries or candles dipped in the Dalelands. Prices are quite reasonable, especially given how far such goods must have travelled. Just do not ask how Ole Winteriht acquired his merchandise; very little was likely secured by more legal means of commerce, if ye catch my drift. The shop is very large and one could get lost wandering the sprawling cavern complex. There is only one exit, guarded by a pair of fierce ursagos on chains.

A Pile of Pelts
Oft times the very first shop most travelers will visit is A Pile of Pelts to purchase a good, warm coat. Buyers can purchase warm clothes made of thick furs off the shelves, or have something custom-made by the human tailor Corin Startailor. Corin has a staff of eight apprentice tailors working for him. Clothes bought here are very warm, providing plenty of protection against the cold , yet very, very expensive. A single coat can set a body back by as much as 10,000 g.p.! Corin is considered one of the richest non-jotun in the city. Be warned that he has a giff bodyguard near him at all times.

Inns
For a city the size of Thunri-Chul, there are a remarkable number of inns. Most of the non-Jotun population resides in or work for one of the city’s many inns. Most inns are small, occupying a small cavern complex that is broken up into 2-8 sleeping rooms, a small kitchen, a dining hall, and a cellar. Most are fairly cheap, maybe 2 to 5 s.p. per night, but be warned that gets ye little more than a pile of thin, flea-infested furs to sleep on in a room with perhaps a half-dozen or more other fellow travelers. Below are the better inns that Thunri-Chul has to offer.

Yukona’s Embrace
Known by reputation across the sphere, Yukona’s Embrace sees more than its fair share of pirates and bravos with more swagger than sense. Gangs of sailors will saunter up through the entrance looking for a room, rum, wenches, and a brawl, and receive all four. The tables and chairs in the main taproom are made of ice, and easily repaired with an ice-mending spell unique to Ryme. The proprietor has a magic ring that can repair the furniture twice per day; tavern brawls are frequent. A chute in the back makes for handy corpse-disposal when said brawls get out of hand. Scavengers of all types haunt the bottom of the chute, looking to strip a corpse of meat or any treasures that were missed before the body was discarded.

The Place
Yukona’s Embrace is carved from solid ice. The walls, floors, and ceiling are all made of ice as hard as steel, while the furniture is made from ice blocks and covered by thick furs. There are three long tables running the length of the cavern, made of ice and securely anchored to the floor. All three are sized for humans or perhaps ogres; rymejotun do not normally patron the Embrace. Drinks are served in chilled mugs that keep their contents only slightly above freezing. Meals are served on old overturned shields. The shields are covered in the dings, scratches, and nicks betraying their use for their original intent in the frequent tavern brawls. The floor is covered by layers of pelts. When pulled back, they reveal ice shaded disturbingly many shades of red. Ghostly lights illuminate the taproom with shades of red, orange, and green, depending on the mood of the bartender.

Every member of the staff has daggers, warhammers, and knuckle-knives all clearly visible, and those are only the weapons you see. It is safe to say many more daggers are secreted in boots, hair-pins, bracers, and the like. The buxom serving wenches are surly and can easily disarm impolite individuals; I’m told the wenches have a room in back where the many trophies they have collected are displayed, included several severed hands.

There are many side passages that lead to the guest rooms. There are no doors, merely curtains hung from the ceiling to give some degree of privacy. Rooms hold little luxury, offering merely a pile to furs to sleep in. The piles are cold but warm quickly when ye have a second body to share it with. Just be sure ye can trust that second body. Many a bravo has been found the next morning missing their coin purse and their throat cut. More than a few are found with their companion as well, their throat slit in the same manner as their lover’s.

The Prospect
The owner of the Embrace is said to be owned by a family of rymejotun, using humans as proxies. The staff is mostly human, with a smattering of dwarves and half-orcs. Popular belief is that at least a few serving wenches are shapeshifted rymejotun, who enjoy manipulating smaller races for their own petty amusements . The elves are also said to have their own spies working for the Embrace, who keep tabs on the comings and goings of pirates and other unethical spacefarers who visit .

The Provender
Travelers do not visit the Embrace for its fare. Lunches of sausages and beans are common, and dinner meals are of boiled eggs, vegetables, and pish. The food is hot, a rarity in Thunri-Chul, cooked by magical means. The cuisine is bland and undercooked; it takes an iron stomach to ingest the meals properly.

The Prices
Rum is sold by the bottle, and these will set one back by 9 s.p. Ale is 5 c.p. per mug, while wines run about 1 s.p. for a tallglass. A local favorite is “bloodrum”, red-colored rum sold for 12 s.p. per bottle and has a potent kick. A single bottle can put the uninitiated under a table in short order. Meals are sold at a rate of 3 s.p. per plate.
Private rooms are had at the rate of 5 s.p. per night. Space in the commons is cheaper at 1 s.p. per night.
Travelers’ Lore

The Embrace is said to be haunted by the ghost of a pirate queen out of the Isles of Wa. She was betrayed by her first mate, revealed to be a kitsune. Poisoned, stabbed thirty times, and blasted by magic, the pirate queen Yikkeen was finally felled when her head was severed from her body, but not before laying a powerful curse on her former subordinate and friend. The kitsune fled, never to be heard from again, while Yikkeen’s ghost lingers in the inn, never knowing rest until her treasure is returned.
Yikkeen’s ghost is not alone in haunting the Embrace. A vampire is also said to stalk the halls, disguised as a serving wench, lady of the night, or even a cook. The vampire is said to be responsible for the many killings that happen at the Embrace, and has acquired a fortune stolen from murdered bravos.

Radiance Lost
Reputed to be the best inn in all of Thunri-Chul, Radiance Lost is also one of the largest. It is located near the head of the glacier that the city occupies, in a large cave complex. Visitors from across the Known Spheres stay at the inn, as do many travelling rymejotun.

The Place
The ice caves that hold Radiance Lost are very large. The ceilings soar to heights of 60’, and the taproom is over 200’ from end to end. The cavern could easily house a small ship. The walls and floor are covered in wood planks, an enormous expense save for the wood was salvaged from wrecked ships. The wood was later petrified by magical means to prevent rot from destroying them. Private rooms for smaller races share similar planking, to keep the rooms warmer and cozier than typical for the city.

A large ogre’s skull hangs on the wall opposite of the main entrance, behind the bar. Once per day, the eyes of the skull glow blue and it bellows forth “Another day passes, another question to be answered. Be quick, ask thy question that I will answer true, and let me sleep once more!” The skull will answer truthfully any question asked of it, although the usefulness of the answer varies greatly. The skull knows much about ancient history, particularly of the Radiant Empire, yet nothing of modern times. It responds to questions it cannot answer with “that answer is beyond me. Begone! I will answer no more questions today!” I can attest that it does not know the current whereabouts of the Lost Treasure of Zivilyn . The barkeeper charges a fee of 25 g.p. to ask the skull a question. No refunds if the skull does not know the answer.

During the day light filters down naturally from above through the layers of ice. Rooms are illuminated in strange, blue-green light. At night, magical lights are used, if sparingly and only in strategic location. Ghost candles, small candlesticks enchanted with weak continual light spells, can be rented for 1 s.p. per night.

Rooms sleep four, with actual beds heaped with furs. Rymejotun chambers are much larger with as many as six beds. Chests with locks can be provided on request but are not normally included in the rooms. The rooms of Radiance Lost have actual wooden doors, a rarity in the city.

The Prospect
The innkeeper of the Radiance Lost is Hurin Icespeaker, a powerful rymejotun with a broad smile. He runs a staff of about eighteen, including many non-rymejotun cooks, serving wenches, and maids. He has two brothers, both working as bouncers in the event a tavern-brawl gets out of hand. His wife runs the kitchen. The staff knows their clientele well enough to leave them to their own devices. They are very good at cleaning up messes, hiding bodies, and removing evidence.

The Provender
The fare here is fairly simple, yet some of the best Thunri-Chul has to offer. Cattle, goats, and sheep are imported from Radole, roasted magically and spiced with herbs and butter. The meat is served on huge skewers with a side of spiced wheat bread and a goblet full of mead. Lighter meals include raw pish and scavver rolls. There is a selection of wines behind the counter.

The Prices
Meals cost 10 g.p. for a skewer, which can feed one rymejotun or ten men. Most tables occupied by humans will purchase a skewer and share the food and expense. A keg of mead, again intended for a rymejotun or ten men, costs 5 g.p. Pish and scavver skewers are delicacies that run 14 g.p. Wine is sold by the bottle for 2 g.p. and has six servings. Human-sized servings, that is.

Travelers’ Lore
The skull in the taproom is believed to be that of a lost prince of the Radiant Empire, an heir to the throne if legends are to be believed. Others put the skull as that of a court seer, a powerful one before achieving lichdom. The lich was destroyed centuries ago, but its skull survived to answer questions to this day.

Many contentious individuals have stayed at the Radiant Loss, and often come to blows over the most minor slights. A legendary dispute between a Zhentarim merchant and an officer of the Dragonfleet over who would get to ask the skull a question swiftly escalated into a spell-battle that drew in four assassins, nine clerics, and a dozen warriors. When the dust had settled, they learned that during the melee, a kender had asked the skull her question before she quickly disappeared. The belligerents put a reward out of 500 g.p. for her head, but she was long gone, chasing quarry of her own.

The Palace in the Ice
Favoring rymejotun clientele, the Palace in the Ice does have rooms for smaller races to rent. The main taproom of the Palace is scaled to giants. A human visitor can feel quite small when drinking next to a table of giants . Of all the places to visit, the Palace is perhaps the most peaceful, at least in that brawls can be broken up VERY quickly. I have witness drunken brawlers sober up right quick when picked up by a perturbed rymejotun! When rymejotun get into a brawl, it best be as far away as possible, as even an errant punch or thrown mug can hit as hard as a catapult shot.

Taverns
Even in such a place as Thunri-Chul one can find taverns, although they are not quite the traditional sort. Stone and mortar walls are replaced by ice caves. Food and alcohol are still served, although I have yet to find decent food anywhere in the city. There are dozens of such caverns scattered throughout the city and are popular destinations for humans and rymejotun alike.

The Yeti Hall
Serving small races and giants alike, the Yeti Hall is loud and obnoxious. Food is brought forth on great platers and served to whole tables, with the quickest getting the best portions. Smaller races need to be wary and keep their wits about them as drunken giants have been known to mistakenly tear off the arm off a human thinking it to be a roast fowl’s leg. The Yeti Hall serves only mead. If ye be looking for another sort of alcohol, ye’d best be looking elsewhere.

The Manymirrors Hall
The Manymirrors is a more traditional sort of tavern, with sailors having hushed conversations at poorly-lit tables. Much shady business goes down at the Manymirrors. It is a favorite spot for Red Wizards, Zhentarim merchants, Scarlet Brotherhood assassins, Dragonfleet officers, and Tauruspace minotaurs. The tavern is heavily warded to prevent detection magic from working properly, allowing the guests to conduct their business without concern for nosey individuals snooping in matters they should not be snooping in .
Moderator: Spelljammer, Kingdoms of Kalamar. My moderator voice is green

Jaid
Fire Giant
Posts: 1246
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2008 4:26 am

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by Jaid »

Lord Torath wrote:
Tue Mar 19, 2019 12:53 pm
Jaid wrote:
Tue Mar 19, 2019 8:21 am
"...are the four ubiquitous owlbears..." (ubiquitous means something is found everywhere, commonplace, etc; I don't think it's the word you wanted, going by context. the owlbears are the inn's namesake... but that doesn't fit into the sentence exactly, nor did any synonym i looked up. Anyways, I think you wanted a different word here, but I'm not sure what it was).
How about "eponymous" or "titular", both referring to the thing something is named for.
ah, eponymous. that's the word that my brain was telling me existed and would perfectly fit that sentence. yeah, that's the one I'd go with :P

and of course, having finally caught up, now there's another section to proofread. I'll get to that :)

User avatar
night_druid
Radiant Dragon
Posts: 6774
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:08 pm
Gender: male

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by night_druid »

Jaid wrote:
Tue Mar 19, 2019 8:21 am
so that ^ is the link i had sitting in my favourites to remind me to proofread :P
:) You're awesome for doing the proofreading it for me :)
I do like the sound of 'Four Owlbears and a Bed' myself :P
It is my favorite thus far :D
Overall, it sounds like a place the PCs will want to visit, but which probably doesn't want the PCs to visit.
To be honest, that describes Radole to a T. Makes it damned frustrating to write about, really. ;) Trying to make places interesting that keep to the original description.
Perhaps a place to stop at, and then head out. I especially like the minor magical item shop that sells things that are convenient for regular people. There really should be more of those... even if we were to presume there was no market for magic items (a claim which always struck me as silly - maybe it isn't like going to wal-mart, but there's going to be a market of some kind), the wizards making the magic items are imo FAR more likely to think "I would really like to have a permanent unseen servant following me around to do whatever I want' than 'I should make a +5 vorpal sword that I have absolutely zero training in, and which is utterly useless to me because I spend all my time alone in a tower protected by things other than myself which also have absolutely zero need for a +5 vorpal sword'. Stuff like self-lighting pipes, candles that produce a nice smell, storage containers that keep things fresh (seriously, what does a wizard that never goes anywhere need a bag of holding for?), stoves that don't need to be lit, hearths that keep a room at whatever temperature you want, a bookshelf that delivers whatever book you reach for to your hand, etc... there should be way more stuff like that for sure!
I do have a LONG post for that I'll have write up for the rules that I have added to my game. In a nutshell I have been developing "trinkets" (minor magic items) that are more "quality of life" items rather than direct combat utility.
Moderator: Spelljammer, Kingdoms of Kalamar. My moderator voice is green

User avatar
night_druid
Radiant Dragon
Posts: 6774
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:08 pm
Gender: male

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by night_druid »

And the village of Cloudrift is done (Ryme). :)

Not much to say; just added a couple of shops and a pair of inns. Mostly, Cloudrift is modeled after ole 1e starting villages like Hommlet, Orlane, and the like, combined with it being the abode of a powerful archmage. Or, more precise, wizard built her massive floating castle, and her servants & their families built a village in the undercroft of said tower. :)
Moderator: Spelljammer, Kingdoms of Kalamar. My moderator voice is green

User avatar
night_druid
Radiant Dragon
Posts: 6774
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:08 pm
Gender: male

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by night_druid »

Jaid wrote:
Tue Mar 05, 2019 7:03 am
well, it's been a while since you posted this last one, and I'm finally getting around to it :P
That's OK, i just got around to updating the master document. Hit me with a ton of corrections; I've just on the first post here! :D
overall, i like it. I do think the area should probably have another industry of note; if this is the preferred place for many ships to land to then do business all around the rest of the planet, to the point where a local company has a 12-ship fleet (and is considering expanding) to take visitors all over the world, there should probably be a significant portion of the locals working in taverns and inns down near the waterfront, more so than usual. you do have a few specific businesses mentioned, but i also think it could be worked into the overall description of the town as well. if there are half a dozen ships docked at any given time, some of them for up to a month, i would expect a fair number of businesses catering to the sailors.
Good point; I don't highlight *every* inn/tavern/shop in the city, just a taste of the interesting ones. But I can look to expand those sections by a couple.
Naiad Shipping: the prices here feel pretty low. At 2 silver per ton to ship anywhere on Radole, you're looking at 1 gold piece for a full load to anywhere (dragonfly is a 10-ton ship with 5 tons of cargo space). with 3 crew, one of which must be a helmsman, i don't think they can break even, let alone turn a profit, charging those rates, unless there are quite a few passengers (i mean, they'll certainly turn a profit on a full load of passengers, so that's something i guess).
They getcha on in-flight meals and cocktails :D Trips take about a day or less, and the helms are *ancient*, so there really isn't much in the way of costs. But I'll take a look; trying to keep the rates attractive to travelers, more or less.
The Grand Loom (2nd paragraph): "...reporting back strange arcane machines..." (feels off... not quite sure what to do here, it looks like you changed what you wanted to say and didn't quite complete it? anyways, maybe "...reporting back with stories of strange arcane machines..." ?)
Entirely possible; I do often rewrite things several times (why I'm so damned slow sometimes). Basically, dungeon, lots of crazy robot monsters to slay that self-repair after the adventurers leave so the dungeon is never truly pacified. That's the basic idea :)

SLOWLY making my way through the rest of the posts. Thanks for all the feedback guys, it really helps :D
Moderator: Spelljammer, Kingdoms of Kalamar. My moderator voice is green

User avatar
night_druid
Radiant Dragon
Posts: 6774
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:08 pm
Gender: male

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by night_druid »

Jaid wrote:
Tue Mar 19, 2019 8:21 am
night_druid wrote:
Sat Oct 20, 2018 9:11 pm
Time for another update. This time its the city of Eskiir on Radole, a "mage city". Hope you enjoy the results :)

While this city was relatively easy to write, I got stuck on the taverns and last inn for a week due to outside forces eating up my time. I still like the results. And the name "Four Owlbears and a Bed" just sounds so D&Dish :)
so that ^ is the link i had sitting in my favourites to remind me to proofread :P
Another post down, edits made and reposted :)
The Prices, paragraph 2: "A tallglass of wine..." (I don't drink, so to be honest I have no idea if a tallglass is a thing or not... if it isn't, then I presume you missed a space)
Just a small note: A term shamelessly stolen from Ed's Volo Guides, basically a wine glass. :)
Moderator: Spelljammer, Kingdoms of Kalamar. My moderator voice is green

Jaid
Fire Giant
Posts: 1246
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2008 4:26 am

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by Jaid »

wow, finding some old notes for myself to review things here =S

anyways, got another post coming after this one. this is for the city of thunri-chul.

Thunri-Chul, paragraph 2: "Thunri-Chul is vast, with a population of three thousand Rymejotun. A further five thousand dwell in the city." (i'm assuming that's a further five thousand that aren't frost giants, but it could be made a lot more clear).

"Some are servants for the rymejotun." (elsewhere, Rymejotun is capitalized, which leads me to believe it is a proper noun. presumably referring to frost giants that live on Ryme. in future notes, i'll simply note 'proper noun?').

"...only the bravest or most foolish pirates stay here long, least they attract unwanted attention." (lest, not least)

"...such as those out of the Zhentil’s Keep, Thay, Tauruspace, Scarlet Brotherhood, and even the Knights of Takhisis." (you don't need 'the' in front of 'Zhentil's Keep' here i think. but i would put one in front of 'Scarlet Brotherhood')

paragraph 3: "...preferring to on occasion sending a mere one or two vessels into the void..." (send, not sending)

Landmarks:

Hall of the Jarls: "She rarely takes an audience from non-rymejotun..." (proper noun?)

The Caverns of Endless Illusion: "...creating any light to bend and refract in bizarre ways." (causing, not creating)

Castle Crimson: "...eternally seeking revenge against those that stole his precious Art." (unclear: who stole his magic? there doesn't seem to be any mention of that happening. or was that supposed to be lowercase art, in which case there still isn't any mention of that happening either)

Welcome Cavern Four: "...cannot pass due to their extensive rigging." (would suggest 'enter' rather than 'pass')

Shops:

Ole Winteriht’s: "Ran by a cantankerous old rymejotun..." (proper noun?)

"One never knows what will be uncovered for sale here..." (uncovered seems an odd word for this. discovered? found?)

Pile of Pelts: "...providing plenty of protection against the cold ," (this is either a missing footnote, per your note at the top of the post, or a space where there shouldn't be one)

Inns:

Yukona's Embrace: "The proprietor keeps several scrolls such scrolls..." (first 'scrolls' should not be there. though i'm surprised the owner can afford to use consumable expensive magic items, so personally i'd go with some sort of re-usable magic item instead)

The Place, paragraph 1: "...rymejotun do no normally patron the Embrace." (proper noun? also, 'not' rather than 'no')

"...betraying their frequent use for their original intent in the frequent tavern brawls." (i'd just get rid of the first 'frequent' personally, 'the frequent' from the second instance)

The Prospect: "...owned by a family of rymejotun..." (proper noun?)

"Popular believe is that..." ('belief', not 'believe')

"...are shapeshifted rymejotun..." (proper noun)

"...who keeps tabs on..." ('keep' for multiple spies, 'keeps' would be if there is only one)

"...unethical spacefairers..." (spacefarers)

"The food is hot, a rarity in Thunri-Chul, cooked by magical means. The food is bland and undercooked..." (i'd suggest rephrasing this so you're not repeating 'the food')

The Prices: there should probably be a blank line between this and "Travelers' Lore'

Radiance Lost: "...as do many travelling rymejotun." (proper noun?)

The Place, paragraph 1: "The ceiling soar to heights of 60’..." (either ceilings or soars, depending on the number of ceilings that soar)

paragraph 2: "...Lost Treasure of Zivlyn ." ('Zivilyn', i think. also, another extra space or footnote, i'm not sure).

paragraph 4: "... can be provided on request but not normally included..." ('are' not normally included).

The Prospect: "...a powerful rymejotun..." (proper noun?)

"...including many non-rymejotun cooks..." (proper noun?)

The Provender: "Cattle, goats, and sheep..." (technically, i believe goats and sheep *are* cattle by some definitions. of course, 'technically' the Kraken may not know or care, so this could be perfectly fine :P )

"... and roasted magically and spiced..." (i'd replace the first 'and' with a comma')

The Prices: "...one rymejotun or ten men..." (proper noun?)

"...intended for a rymejotun or ten men..." (same)

"Wine is sold by the bottle for 2 g.p. and have six servings." (i've been running this over in my head and i think the wine 'has' rather than 'have' six servings. also, you should probably specify who the six servings are for; humans or Rymejotun)

Travelers' Lore: "...that exposed drew in four assassins..." (i'm guessing you probably changed 'exposed' to 'drew in' when you added additional categories, but forgot to remove 'exposed' properly ;) )

The Palace in the Ice: "Favoring rymejotun clientele..." (proper noun?)

"...at least in brawls can be broken up VERY quickly." (think you meant 'in that brawls...')

"I have witness drunken brawlers sober up right quick when picked up by a perturbed rymejotun!" ('witnessed'. also, proper noun?)

"When rymejotun get into a brawl, it best be as far away as possible..." (proper noun? also, 'it's best to be...' or perhaps 'ye'd best be...')

incidentally, it looks rather like the palace in the ice doesn't have a full entry. not sure if that's just because you didn't give it one, or if you were going to come back to it.

Taverns:

"Even in such a place as Thunri-Chul one can find taverns, even if..." (suggest 'although' rather than 'even if')

"...I have yet to find descent food..." ('decent'. descent means a downward excursion ;) )

"There are dozens such caverns..." (i think this should be 'of' such caverns)

"...for humans and rymejotun alike." (proper noun?)

The Yeti Hall: "Food is brought forth on great platers..." (platters)

"If ye be looking for another sort of alcohol, ye best be looking elsewhere." (i think that should properly be 'ye'd best be looking elsewhere')

The Manymirror Hall: "The Manymirrors..." (singular or plural? same thing in the next sentence too)

Jaid
Fire Giant
Posts: 1246
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2008 4:26 am

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by Jaid »

and here's the next one.

i think this is the right spot. i've got a note that you finished cloudrift village, which so far as i can tell is referring to what is in this post: viewtopic.php?p=215398#p215398

Cloudrift Tower, paragraph 1: "...is a site to behold." (not technically wrong, as it is presumably also a location to behold, but usually this would be a sight to behold)

"...its outer form seemly changing to the whims of its master." (suggestion: "...according to the whims...")

paragraph 2: "The tower sports a long, magical pier where ships up to hammership sized can dock..." (don't think the comma is necessary here. either way, just 'size').

"...keep their sword sheaved..." (sheathed)

paragraph 3: "A central opening of two hundred feet across..." ('of' shouldn't be there).

"Warm sunlight filters through vast stain-glass windows." (stained-glass)

Shops: there should probably be a blank line between this and 'Ole Sam'

Ole Sam: "As often the case with this village blacksmiths..." ('As is often the case with village blacksmiths...' perhaps. I'm not 100% sure what you were aiming for)

"...not so much that Ole’ Sam or his two apprentices cannot handle it." ('and' his two apprentices)

The General Store: "Tucked next to the Green Cloud..." (not wrong, but personal preference: the general store was mentioned first, i would give its location and then later on mention the location of the green cloud as being relative to this)

"...although you will never know what you’ll find here." (no need for 'will')

Inns & Taverns:

The Green Cloud: "There is a choice of meals, from stew to steak or pish platters, and generally run 1 s.p. to 3 s.p." ('which' generally run)

and i have another one, but i don't think it's in this thread. or maybe it is. it's from a while back, hard to tell until i go to it =S

User avatar
night_druid
Radiant Dragon
Posts: 6774
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:08 pm
Gender: male

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by night_druid »

Bleh, way behind on this! Thanks Jaid for the feedback! I'm starting to go through it now; kinda slow going <insert standard whining about work here> ;)
Moderator: Spelljammer, Kingdoms of Kalamar. My moderator voice is green

User avatar
night_druid
Radiant Dragon
Posts: 6774
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:08 pm
Gender: male

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by night_druid »

Added Icepike Point to Ryme, and starting to update with Jaid's latest edits. By the by, Jaid you jerk, you got me writing on Winterspace again. ;) Hope to wrap this up soonish :)
Moderator: Spelljammer, Kingdoms of Kalamar. My moderator voice is green

User avatar
night_druid
Radiant Dragon
Posts: 6774
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:08 pm
Gender: male

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by night_druid »

Thanksgiving weekend, during which I *always* stay home (I hate crazy crowds) is off to a good start. Decided to just spend the whole weekend writing, and I got another moon of Ryme done, Greymoor. No relation to Blackmoor, just convenient name for a boggy, mist-shrouded moon. Little bit of inspiration from Ravenloft, although without the constant horror elements. :)

Greymoor

Ryme’s moon of Greymoor is not much to look at. She’s barely more than a thousand miles across, gray in color, and looks mostly barren from orbit. Much of the moon is covered by freezing bogs, misty heath marshes, fog-clad forests, and low, ice-capped mountains. There are few bodies of water large enough for a water-landing craft to put down and ground-landing craft fare little better in the sticky mud. The ever-present mist makes landing a hazardous affair.

Greymoor is a cold world, with temperatures hovering just above freezing and much of the moon blanketed by dense fogs. Visiting Greymoor is just about as miserable an experience as one can imagine. The mountains offer refuge from the mud and bogs of the lowlands, but are colder and the mists are, if anything, thicker.

The folk of Greymoor are as gloomy as their home. Dwarves inhabit the highlands, while humans and halflings occupy the bogs. A smattering of elves and gnomes inhabit the forests. Many came from Radole originally, and the folk of Greymoor are not particularly liked in the sphere. Seems they be the descendants of people excommunicated from Radole for whatever reason. As such people in Winterspace look upon them as criminals and undesirables. For their part the Greymoor folk dislike people from Radole and refuse to trade with them. Not that Greymoor has much to offer. Although gems and precious metals are mined in the highlands, the quantities and quality is nothing special. The heath moss burns well enough yet too cheap to make transporting it worth the effort. Greymoor’s forests are prized for their timber, yet packs of wargs and even werewolves make lumber operations dangerous.

A spacefarer looking for a port will find the moon has but one option, the city of Gloomspires. The rest of Greymoor’s settlements are small, fortified towns with no facilities for spelljammers. Even the obligatory open field where dragonflies and wasps can set down is absent. If ye be looking to visit some Greymoorian village, it best be to set down at Gloomspire and take a carriage to yer destination.

Gloomspires
Located in highlands in the northern hemisphere, Gloomspires is a dwarven city. Gloomspires is a small city, with a population of four or five thousand. It squats at the shore of Redlake, which is kept ice-free thanks to deepearth volcanism. It sports the most extensive network of docks and warehouses anywhere on Greymoor.

Many gray towers rise from the hard bedrock, piercing the low mists that rise off of Redlake. The towers are wide and sturdy enough for small craft, such as flitters, wreckboats, and even mosquitos to land. The docks can handle most water-landing craft. Dragonflies and wasps will find a stretch of bare rock north of the city that makes a suitable landing spot. To the west, a large mountain broods over the city, where if legends are to be believed, a red dragon slumbers atop a trove of gold and gems.

The dwarves that run the city are a cheerless lot, even for dwarves. The people are a mix of about every race inhabiting Greymoor, with a mix of off-worlders looking to trade with the locals. Spelljammers rarely visit, so there be at most two other ships in port at any given time. Docking fees can be pretty steep at a gold per five tons of craft, with high pier rental fees to boot! Last time I visited, I noted that some folk out of Mulmaster, a Bane-worshipping city on Toril, seem to have taken an interest in the place. Perhaps it reminded them of home.

About town ye might notice many a number of mute, cloaked individuals doing menial jobs across the city. If ye peek under the hoods, ye’ll find a bestial face staring back. These are the migors, a degenerate servile race to the dwarves. Ugly rumors have it that the dwarves found a way to breed some captive hobgoblins with beasts to create a more docile race of servants, while the dwarves maintain that the migors were beast-like natives to Greymoor prior to their arrival. Migors are a bit shorter and scrawnier than dwarves, are covered in thick dark fur, have monkey-like tails that are always hidden by their cloaks, and short snouts. Migors are mute, only able to make faint mewing sounds when distressed. They are good climbers, with strong hands, and if put to a simple task, they will perform rather well. They dislike the cold damp air of the city and will only remove their cloaks when indoors.

Landmarks
Coaching Square
At the heart of the town is a cobblestone square where a body can hire a coach to take ye nearly any other town on Greymoor. Renting a coach cost a silver per 10 miles traveled, per passenger. A coach can hold up to four passengers and a reasonable amount of baggage. Coaches are drawn by four shaggy horses. They will only traverse the handful of roads that crisscross the moon. The driver and guard are warriors, often armed with heavy crossbows to protect their passengers from the many dangers of the wilderness.

The Docks
Hidden by mists are Gloomspire’s docks. This network of ancient piers and dry docks was designed to service Gloomspire’s fishing fleet. They are extensive enough to handle most ships, either by allowing them to tie off of one of piers, or anchor in deeper water and use rowboats to ferry passengers and cargo to and from the ship. The water is warmed by underwater hot springs, yet the air around Gloomspire is freezing, which create thick mists. A series of lighthouses, each using a different color of light, acts as navigation points for fishermen traversing the lake and harbor. Mists cool around the nearby warehouses, forming patches of ice.

Raventower
This stark monolith stands out even amongst the other stark gray towers, as it is a cluster three smaller towers surrounding a larger central tower. It is the abode of the Ravencraw witch coven. The witches provide magical support for the dwarven lords. The coven numbers are about fifty in number and are of various skill and abilities. Raventower acts as their magical academy for training and home for students and faculty. The Ravencraws take in young orphans and train them in magic. Witchcraft is viewed as necessary, although undesirable when compared to pursuits such as warrior and hunter.

Inns and Taverns
The Wolf and the Lamb
As dreary as the rest of the town, the Wolf and the Lamb Inn is noteworthy for its large central fireplace and crowded accommodations. The rooms are at least reasonably priced offering beds with clean linens, a small table and chair, and an armoire. The tavern portion of the inn sells meals with roasted mutton as the main course, washed down with ale or beer. If nothing else, the Wolf and the Lamb offers excellent beer, something to be expected in a town run by dwarves. The staff, mostly dwarves, humans, and a few halflings, are a surly lot, as are the regulars.

The Grey Coach
A cozy inn near the outskirts of town, the Grey Coach offers warm meals, a bed, and hardy drinks. Prices are high but service is about the best the city has to offer. The western wall of the great room has a large window that offers a magnificent view of the mountain overlooking Gloomspires. On days that smoke rises from the mountain, it is said that the dragon within is stirring, and the inn serves a delicious meal of mutton, potatoes, vegetables, and spiced bread they refer to as “the Last Meal”. This is in reference to if the dragon ever awakens from its slumber, it will sweep down across the mountain and destroy Gloomspires, so the patrons’ final meal should the finest the inn has to offer.
Moderator: Spelljammer, Kingdoms of Kalamar. My moderator voice is green

User avatar
night_druid
Radiant Dragon
Posts: 6774
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:08 pm
Gender: male

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by night_druid »

One more thing...I've pushed the word-count to over 50k words! :) Its starting to get close now to being finished up.
Moderator: Spelljammer, Kingdoms of Kalamar. My moderator voice is green

User avatar
night_druid
Radiant Dragon
Posts: 6774
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 9:08 pm
Gender: male

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by night_druid »

AND another city down! Chugging right along! This time its Igoo, the "capital" of the ice moon Undiin. That moon is getting close to being done.

Igoo
The city-state of Igoo is the largest surface city on Undiin, although it pales in comparison to some of the cities beneath the waves. It consists of nine massive domes and dozens of smaller domes. The domes overlap in a large cluster with a few outlying domes joined to the main cluster by means of long arched hallways of clear ice as hard as stone and almost impervious to heat. Most people dwell in the central domes, while the outer domes serve as private residences and estates for wealthy nobility and merchants.

At the center of Igoo is the largest dome on Undiin at almost half a mile across. This dome serves as the primary harbor for the city. There are two sets of enormous doors on opposite sides of the dome that allow passage of ships as large as fully-rigged galleons. Magic prevents biting cold from entering the facility and air from escaping. Inside is a docking facility that can handle as many as fifty vessels, with plenty of room for ships to maneuver. The facilities operate at about half capacity so finding a slip is not a challenge. Dock workers direct traffic to avoid collisions and accidents. The ships are designed to handle both ground and water-landing craft, and are wide to accommodate galleons as well as ships with low, narrow rigging like hammerships and squidships. Trouble-makers be warned – the city employs four rymejoten for security. These four giants are quite skilled at hurling rocks; the wreckage of a deathspider, displayed prominently just outside one entrance, is silent testimony to their skill.

Docking fees are 5 s.p. per day to rent a slip, which includes use of a crane for loading and off-loading cargo. Slips are a one-size fits all, so a slip can handle a dragonfly, wasp, lamprey, squidship, galleon, or a hammership. Larger ships such as elven man-o-wars and cuttle command ships are too big to enter the port. Tariffs are 1% for perishables, 3% for textiles and other non-perishables, 5% for any sort of weapon, and 8% for any sort of magic item, scroll, potion, and the like. Tax collectors have extensive lists of the value of almost anything imaginable.

Landmarks
Blackice Dome
The military harbor of Igoo, few visitors get to see this particular dome. The only way to distinguish it from the other domes is that there are two sliding doors in the side of the dome, about mid-way down. The exact size of the Igoo defensive navy is a state secret, but I have it on good authority that it numbers no more than a score of vessels, mostly lampreys, wasps, and squidships, with an octopus as a flagship. Facilities include an excellent dry-dock for ship repairs. Igoo’s navy is independent of both Radole’s navy and the Elven Fleet, but shares intelligence with both to keep an eye out for pirates and reavers. Both navies discretely keep small embassies here, and their agents are spotted on occasion. Blackice is a fortress with few entrances, all heavily guarded by six hundred well-drilled marines. A company of dwarves are included in their ranks, skilled with axe and expert marksmen with the crossbow.

The Salt Dome
One of the primary exports of Igoo, and the secret of its wealth, is salt, surprisingly rare in the sphere. Though ancient magical pumps, water is pulled from the oceans below, cleaned, and the salt extracted before being dumped back into the oceans. This particular dome is devoted to the process as well as storing tons of salt as it dries. It is then put in casks and shipped across the sphere, much of it heading to Radole.

Seething Springs
A deep-water volcanic vent sends boiling hot water flowing all the way to the surface, breaking through in a hot geyser a few miles outside the city. Magically treated aquafers transfers and cools the boiling hot water to a resort at the very edge of Igoo. The hot water spring is open to the public, for a nominal fee of 3 c.p. per bath. Soap, sponges, and towels are also for sale, although these are marked up; a good bath will run ye about 1 to 2 s.p. a bath. More, if ye take advantage of any one of the lovely young ladies that offer to scrub yer back for ye. And ladies, do not fret, there be handsome lads who offer the same service.

Unfathomed Aquarium
One of the stranger sights me eyes have ever beheld is the Unfathomed Aquarium, where creatures of the deep seas under Undiin’s ice are put on display in large tanks. What magic keeps the creatures alive in a facsimilia of a natural environment I cannot say, but the result is impressive. Visitors can traverse the tanks by either walking through ice tubes at the bottom, clear as crystal yet harder than steel and impervious to melting, or taking tours with water breathing spells and hired guides. Here they can see enormous megaladons, lethal kraken squids, glowing angler fish, and more. The proprietor of the aquarium is Trechul the Red, an Eye of the Deep. Ole Trechul is a clever creature, devising such an ingenious business and somehow convinced the natives of Igoo to allow him to build it. Many claimed he employed charm magic against Igoo’s governor and ruling council. Such claims became curiously quieter when the Aquarium became a tourist destination, and businesses around the city prospered as a result.

Trechul is always in need of hired swords to go fetch new specimens for display. Large predators sometimes kill one another in territorial disputes, necessitating replacements. Most often Trechul needs escorts for specimens already procured by deep-water contacts, although hunters are always in demand. Be forewarned that Trechul’s contacts tend to include a number of less-than-savory races, such as sahaugin and merrow. Of course, those willing to take a job from an Eye of the Deep are less than likely to care about such matters. A word of advice – Trechul loves crabs, and returning with a few is a good way to get a bonus.

Yetiskull Estate
One of several clusters of outlying domes is Yetiskull Estate. It is currently being occupied by Lady Vex Lin, who keeps a winter wolf as her pet. Lady Lin is a mature, stately woman who has her hands in numerous businesses across Igoo as a silent investor. The Estate crawls with her numerous Amazonian agents of various races. Men also find their way into Lady Lin’s employ, but are not as high-ranked. The fair lady is a ruthless businesswoman and reputedly the head of the local thieves’ guild. Rest assured such rumors are mere slander and falsehoods perpetrated to impugn the lady’s honor .

The Lady is often in need of the services of those with skill getting small trinkets in and out of the city without drawing too much attention. See, there are those who dismay that a lady would hold such a prominent role in the city and enact unfair laws and tariffs to damage her business ventures. So she must resort to working with men and women of skill and intellect to fight back against such injustice!

Stores
Crab by the Barrel
This small store is located near the main harbor. It caters in selling barrels full of live crab to departing ships. Captains are fond of picking up a barrel or two at the completion of a successful trade so that they can serve boiled crab to their crews. A single barrel holds enough crabs to feed a crew of fifty a good hardy meal. Barrels run 20 g.p. for common crab, 30 g.p. for the rarer king crabs. The shop is run by Amiir Seadeep, a half-aquatic elf and former first mate of the hammership Longfin.

Dryer’s Curiosities
For wizards searching for spell components involving deep-water or arctic monsters, Dryer’s Curiosities is a must. Here one can find the preserved eyes of a kraken, megaladon teeth, pickled gulper eels, yeti horns, the claws from an eye of the deep, the tears of a triton, and more. The store is stuffed with all manner of parts from creatures dredged up from the deep and sold at high prices. Dryer is a wizard in his own right, and knows the value of his merchandise.

The Wholly Wolf
Occupying a prominent spot near a major entrance to the primary dock, the Wholly Wolf is a famous clothier. The lower level caters to sailors, selling warm coats relatively cheaply. The upper floor caters to ship captains, officers, and wealthy merchants. Quality varies, although the Wolf has a good reputation for making clothes that last even the rigors of hard working sailors. The tailors who work the lower floors are apprentices and journeymen, while the master tailor, Brin Trueshot exclusively works the upper floor. A popular service provided by the Wolf is matching uniforms for newly arrived ships that expect to be operating in Winterspace for months at a time.

Inns
Several inns operate throughout the city, although the better inns are presented here.

The Maiden of the Deep
This inn was carved from the ice to give a fairy tale-like allure, with great vaulted ceilings, shimmering ice chandeliers, and sculptures made of colored ice in every room and hallway. Prices to stay at the Maiden are high. Countless unseen servants clean up after the guests, making beds, and handling laundry, implying the proprietor is a powerful wizard of some fashion. Who that person is, nobody knows. It is said that the owner, or owners, mingle freely with guests in the ballroom, using disguises to hide. It is a great game to try to suss out whom, exactly, owns and runs the Maiden. So far nobody has successfully unraveled the mystery. The few staff members that are seen are courteous but tight-lipped about their employer.

The Warm Remorhaz
The primary feature of the Remorhaz is the magically warmed beds, supposedly warmed by remorhaz bits. Magic insulates the walls to prevent melting. The Remorhaz offers the warmest, most comfortable rooms around and is popular with older travelers, whose bones are more sensitive to the cold than most.

The Watcher in the Ice
Embedded in the translucent walls of this inn are dark, hulking shapes, eternally frozen trophies. Some are obviously yeti and ogres, while others appear to be more exotic. The creatures are very life-like and whole; one gets the impression they can burst out of the ice and attack at any moment. The Watcher is popular with adventurers who like the ever-present sense of danger, and the cheap food and lodging prices.

Taverns
A city the size of Igoo, with hundreds or even thousands of travelers visiting at any given time, there are dozens of taverns scattered across the many domes. A catalog of them all is beyond the scope of this document. The taverns highlighted below are the most interesting ones Igoo has to offer.

Delights of the Abyss
This is an upscale tavern that serves so-called “cold-cooked” food. The Delights of the Abyss serves exotic wares such as deep-sea cuttlefish, eel, clams, crabs, lobster, and even a type of edible coral. Meals are served cold, yet thoroughly cooked, and spiced in a manner that enhances the flavor. The tavern is frequented by the upper class of Igoo and a good place to befriend nobles and wealthy merchants. Just wary of flirty young women who frequent the tavern; merely being spotted with one can lead to trouble .

A Rift in the Glacier
Below the ice is this unusual tavern, which is built into a large crack in the planet-wide glacier. The crack is about forty feet long by twenty feet wide, with several side passages to private rooms. The bar is found at the southern end of the rift, opposite of the sloped entry in the northern end of the rift. Sunlight filters down from the ice ceiling, casting the tavern in an eerie blue-green light. The tavern staff is an extended family of so-called rymelings, the sons and daughters of a humans and rymejotun. The Rift is popular with visitors, as the waitresses are statuesque Valkyries who serve ice-cold wine. The food is average but served hot, thanks to an insulated kitchen found in one side passage.

The Perturbed Moray
A rowdy place near the docks, the Perturbed Moray specializes in the selling of raw fish meat and rice wrapped in dried kelp leaves, a delicacy known in Wa as “sushi”. Plates of sushi are served with cuts of dried fish, kelp salad, and mugs of frosty wine. The Moray is popular with visitors as the food is relatively cheap and portions are generous. Brawls are uncommon thanks to the large half-orc bouncer, Umbereye. I suspect there is a bit of ogre in Umbereye; he is a beast of a man . The Perturbed Moray has wooden floorboards and the walls, while the walls and ceiling are made of solid ice. Broken fishing poles, gigs, and hooks are embedded in the walls, frozen solid and only removable by chipping away at the ice (highly discouraged by the owners).
Moderator: Spelljammer, Kingdoms of Kalamar. My moderator voice is green

Jaid
Fire Giant
Posts: 1246
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2008 4:26 am

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by Jaid »

night_druid wrote:
Fri Nov 22, 2019 12:38 am
Added Icepike Point to Ryme, and starting to update with Jaid's latest edits. By the by, Jaid you jerk, you got me writing on Winterspace again. ;) Hope to wrap this up soonish :)
well, like I said in the Ravitire thread, I have some time, so... here goes :)

but while I was in the area, I noticed that I must have missed something previously in Deadrat, paragraph 1:

"...I think she wanted me [to have] time to stew."

and paragraph 6: "Should a guess take their leave..." (guest)

"...as they assume any escape guest would be dead..." (escaped)

"A cleverly timed prison riot and a little magic works wonder for..." (wonders)

"...managed to slip pass the guards!" (past)

Icepike Point:

"...thick layers of ice now grasp to it and obscure its features." (I think it works better just as "grasp it". YMMV)

paragraph 3: "Marrow Hisk soon secured a few old helms from his contacts, but sources of strange, illicit goods from deep under the ice." (I feel like you must have edited something out here. at a guess, something explaining that he wound up deciding to stay instead of escape using the helm(s) he got his hands on...)

paragraph 5: "The undamaged dome is a labrynth of..." (labyrinth)

Xarius' Retreat: "Near Undiin’s equator is this small dome is the retreat for the archmage Xarius." ("Near Undiin’s equator[,] is this small dome is the retreat for of the archmage Xarius." (I'm also a little unsure about calling it the retreat... I feel like an adjective would usually go in front of that, like "winter retreat", but even that feels a bit off to me)

"He often requires components not available on Undiin, so thus requires..." ("and" instead of "so")

(also, skip a bunch down to Alicorn's Glade): "The glade possesses an unearthly beauty and [is] the one place..."

Jaid
Fire Giant
Posts: 1246
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2008 4:26 am

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by Jaid »

night_druid wrote:
Thu Nov 28, 2019 4:07 pm
Thanksgiving weekend, during which I *always* stay home (I hate crazy crowds) is off to a good start. Decided to just spend the whole weekend writing, and I got another moon of Ryme done, Greymoor. No relation to Blackmoor, just convenient name for a boggy, mist-shrouded moon. Little bit of inspiration from Ravenloft, although without the constant horror elements. :)
and now, on to Greymoor :)

Greymoor, paragraph 3: "...the quantities and quality is nothing special." (are, not is)

"The heath moss burns well enough yet [is] too cheap..."

paragraph 4: "...it best be to set down at Gloomspire..." ("it be best", presuming the Kraken is celebrating talk like a pirate day)

Gloomspires (fyi, this TOTALLY sounds like a name generated for a dwarven stronghold by the game "dwarf fortress =P )

paragraph 1: "...thanks to deepearth volcanism." (deep earth. also, TIL that volcanism is an alternate spelling for vulcanism... although my in-browser spellcheck is mad at you, and i was going to say it was wrong, apparently both are acceptable =S )

paragraph 2: "To the west, a large mountain broods over the city..." (I would suggest looms instead of broods)

Landmarks

Coaching Square: "...hire a coach to take ye [to] nearly any..."

"Renting a coach cost a silver per..." (costs)

The Docks: "Hidden by mists are Gloomspire’s docks." (I can't quite put my finger on it. It feels... *almost* like pirate talk. but not quite. and I'm not sure how to get it the rest of the way there. I could get it to modern language ('Gloomspire's docks are hidden by mists") easily enough...)

"...allowing them to tie off of one of [the] piers..." (I think you tie off *on* or *at* a pier, though)

"...which create thick mists." (creates)

"...acts as navigation points..." (act)

"Mists cool around the nearby warehouses, forming patches of ice." (perhaps "The mists" (or "The Mists" if you're naming them) would flow better)

Raventower: "...as it is a cluster [of] three smaller..."

"...and are of various skill and abilities..." (skills. also, personal preference here, but I like varying instead of various)

"...when compared to pursuits such as warrior and hunter." (I would consider those professions rather than pursuits)

Inns and Taverns

The Grey Coach: "This is in reference to [the fact that] if the dragon..."

Jaid
Fire Giant
Posts: 1246
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2008 4:26 am

Re: Kraken's Guide to Winterspace

Post by Jaid »

night_druid wrote:
Fri Nov 29, 2019 7:26 pm
AND another city down! Chugging right along! This time its Igoo, the "capital" of the ice moon Undiin. That moon is getting close to being done.
here we go :)

Igoo

paragraph 2: "The ships are designed to handle both ground and water-landing craft..." (did you mean slips again instead of ships?)

paragraph 3: "Slips are a one-size fits all..." (either lose "a" or possibly add "affair" to the end)

Landmarks

Blackice Dome: "...skilled with axe and expert marksmen..." (I think it should be "skilled with the axe")

The Salt Dome: "Though ancient magical pumps..." (Through?)

Seething Springs: "Magically treated aquafers transfers and cools..." (aquifers, transfer) (also, magically treated or magically created?)

Yetiskull Estate: "...impugn the lady’s honor ." (space before the period)

"...there are those who dismay that..." (are dismayed)

"So she must resort to working with men and women..." (I would argue that she resorts "to working with women and men", rather than "men and women" =D )

Stores

The Wholly Wolf: "... making clothes that last even the rigors of hard working sailors." (survive instead of last? or perhaps outlast instead?)

Inns

The Maiden of the Deep: "...clean up after the guests, making beds, and handling laundry, implying..." (I think the comma between making beds and handling laundry should not be there)

Taverns: "A city the size of Igoo, with hundreds or even thousands of travelers visiting at any given time, there are dozens of taverns..." (long quote for a small point: the way the rest of the sentence is written, I believe it should start "In a city...")

Delights of the Abyss: "...upper class of Igoo and [is] a good place..."

"Just [be] wary of flirty young women..."

"...spotted with one can lead to trouble ." (space before the period)

The Perturbed Moray: "...he is a beast of a man ." (space before the period)

"The Perturbed Moray has wooden floorboards and the walls, while the walls and ceiling are made of solid ice." (I'm guessing "and the walls" is there from before an edit and should be removed)


==================

OK, that's all I have from this thread. I still have one more link that I've stored, something about Grubbport.

It is definitely interesting to see a world like this, where you can really feel that you're mostly only able to interact with a very small part of the planet. There is literally so much more going on below the surface :D

Post Reply

Return to “Spelljammer”