Great stuff.
I've got a couple of comments and "nit picks" that you may wish to consider.
EDIT: Wow, this turned out to be a lot of "nit picks", mostly down the SRD being all over the place about a couple of things.
Generally, I am not a fan of TSR's habit of putting their trademarks into ALLCAPS. It seems to be some sort of legal thing, rather than something designed for readability. I would much rather see
Mystara,
Mystara or even
Mystara than MYSTARA.
Gawain_VIII wrote:Structure of MYSTARA
Like most worlds, MYSTARA has an exterior surface which faces the sun and the stars. But instead of being solid all the way to its core, the planet is hollow inside (see the diagram on page X).
"page X" - With the "page X" thing, someone is going to need to typeset the entire Mystara Campaign Setting, to place everything in the right place before you can work out the pages of all the "page X" placeholders. Then you are going to need to have people go through the thing and hunt down all the "page X"s and replace them with the right pages. I have heard of a few commercial products going to the press with a few placeholders left in them. Margaret Weis Press dropped the ball with at least one of the Dragonlance books.
IIRC there are some gamebooks that now follow a trend of calling things Diagram 1, Diagram 2, Diagram 3,...Diagram 198, etc. Either way is valid, but I think that if you had a "Diagram X" placeholder, it could be swapped for the correct diagram number at a much earlier point. In fact, if the diagram numbers, table numbers, sidebar numbers and any other numbered sections used the chapter, then as soon as you got the chapter locked into place you could start to number them Diagram 3.1, Diagram 3.2, etc.
If this was done, someone would still need to make a second pass (after test typesetting was done), but this would be for the contents at the start of the book. That sort of thing needs to be done anyway (unless your structure allows you to automatically generate a ToC for things that are not chapter headings and sub-headings).
Gawain_VIII wrote:That interior is a world of its own—a world lit by a magical sun.
Hmm. I didn't realise the inner sun was magical, but then I suppose that is because,
from a fantasy point of view, an inner sun does not
need to be magical to work. What sort of magical properties does it have? Is it the sun that causes the Spell of Preservation to shine down onto the inner surface or something like that?
Gawain_VIII wrote:The Worldshield
Although MYSTARA is smaller than out earth—as well as being hollow—its gravity is the same.
I think you meant "...than our Earth..." here.
Gawain_VIII wrote:This is due to a layer of magical molten rock that runs through the center of MYSTARA’s crust.
Ironically, in Spelljammer, the Worldshield wouldn't need to be magical. I can see PCs trying to mine Worldshieldstone and use it somewhere (maybe by smelting it down to create Worldshieldmetal). I hope there is a rule for this somewhere later on. You have me wondering if Red Steel might somehow be related to this layer.
Gawain_VIII wrote:Called the Worldshield by the Immortals, this layer of lava produces a gravitational field that pulls things toward it from both sides.
Hmm. Does this mean that the people of Mystara don't know about the Worldshield?
Gawain_VIII wrote:Not all of the Worldshield is molten. The lava has hot spots and cool spots, and in some areas it’s solidified. Natural tunnels and caves—and a few artificial passages and mines—can penetrate the Worldshield in these areas. There are even a few spots where the Worldshield remains solid all the way through MYSTARA’s mantle. Tunnels through this solidifies lava can provide access between the HOLLOW WORLD and MYSTARA’s outer surface. Gravity tends to work in strange ways in these areas, though. “Up” and “down” are erratic at best, shifting with the slow movements of the still-molten Worldshield that surrounds the cooler, solid areas.
The introduction of the solid bits of the Worldshield looks a bit awkward for some reason. I'm not sure why, but it felt like you were going back on yourself. I wonder if it would work better with the forth sentence moved before the third sentence, so that you got this:
modified by Big Mac wrote:Not all of the Worldshield is molten. The lava has hot spots and cool spots, and in some areas it’s solidified. There are even a few spots where the Worldshield remains solid all the way through MYSTARA’s mantle. Natural tunnels and caves—and a few artificial passages and mines—can penetrate the Worldshield in these areas. Tunnels through this solidifies lava can provide access between the HOLLOW WORLD and MYSTARA’s outer surface. Gravity tends to work in strange ways in these areas, though. “Up” and “down” are erratic at best, shifting with the slow movements of the still-molten Worldshield that surrounds the cooler, solid areas.
Gawain_VIII wrote:The Worldshield is strongly anti-magical. Mortal magic generally does not work within three hundred miles of the lava layer. (There are fluctuations in this effect, but they tend to be localized and temporary.) This anti-magic effect extends across both polar openings in a band 600 miles thick.
I didn't realise this detail before. I would love to see a diagram that shows the empty zone of air, across one of the polar openings, that is anti-magical.
Gawain_VIII wrote:The Skyshield
In MYSTARA’s Prime Material Plane, most worlds with atmospheres also have Skyshields.
IIRC, 3e has dropped the word "Prime" and things are generally written as if there is only one "Material Plane". I am not saying that "Alternate Material Planes" no longer exist, but it
seems as if most campaign settings are written from the point of view that they are the only world that exists.
In any case, I think you are dropping in a second issue (other worlds) that might not need to be dealt with in this section. I think that you could ignore places except Mystara, at this point and then perhaps add an Other Worlds section at the end that says something along the lines of: "Other worlds are known to exist beyond the Skyshield. Out of these worlds, most of the ones with atmospheres have their own Skyshields." A section like this could also touch on everything else (like Hollow Other Worlds or Worldshields*). If you do touch on the various aspects of Other Worlds, then I would suggest you tackle them in the same order as your Mystaran sections.
* = I would personally advocate making Worldshields (and maybe hollow planets) a universal thing for any fanon worlds you add to Mystara, as that would keep "gravity" as a single concept. However, as this is the Mystara Campaign Setting - not a "Mystaraspace" suppliment, I'm not sure how far into this sort of thing you want to go. Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting has one small 3 page section that covers the area beyond Faerun. It might be better for you to concentrate the majority of your book on some sort of core area of the surface.Gawain_VIII wrote:Occassionally, the Skyshield temporarily develops a rip or tear. This may be caused by the passage of objects (meteors, for example) or by natural but unexplained fluctuations in the Skyshield’s strength. Whenever a tear occurs, atmosphere escapes into the void with incredible force. The stream of air creates a freak tornado, nown as a ripstorm, whirlhole, or Vortigern Vortex (after the Alphatian wizard who first studied the phenomenon).
In clear skies, these vortexes appear as shimmering, dancing funnels which extend up as far as the eye can see. In cloudy skies, they suck the clouds directly beneath the tear into a ferociously whirling spiral up to the edge of the atmosphere. Certain brave adventurers have learned how to ride these ripstorms up and out through the Skyshield.
I can see someone wanting some sort of rules for the Skyshield getting ripped. You have a healing rule, but not one for breaking the Skyshield. Mind you, perhaps this is something for a "Mystaraspace" supplement to tackle in more detail, as most GMs and players will not need this information.
Gawain_VIII wrote:The Atmosphere
Characters above 15,000 feet (on a high mountain, riding a dragon, or whatever) are at a -2 to hit and damage rolls and on all saving throws and skill rolls.
Looks like you are using the
sickened condition:
SRD wrote:The character takes a -2 penalty on all attack rolls, weapon damage rolls, saving throws, skill checks, and ability checks.
If that is the case, then perhaps you should specifically name this "Altitude Sickness", say that people become sickened. You still could summarise the condition if you want, but specifically naming it could make it easier for a person using Pathfinder rules, for a Mystara game, to check to see that
Pathfinder has the same rule.
BTW: The SRD sentence looks a bit nicer than yours (it includes ability checks, which you didn't and attack rolls is better, because in 3e people occasionally use attack rolls when they don't want to hit people). Perhaps it might be good to say something more like:
modified by Big Mac wrote:The Atmosphere
Characters above 15,000 feet (on a high mountain, riding a dragon, or whatever) suffer air sickness. As per the sickened condition they take a -2 penalty to attack and damage rolls and on all saving throws and skill rolls.
Don't forget that there are a bunch of weird characters in 3e rules that use monster races that were previously inaccessible to players. Any sort of creature with a slow metabolism would probably work differently (it
might suffer no penalties, less penalties or have a delayed onset) and any sort of creature that does not breath air should suffer no ill effects. The
Endurance feat should probably also allow a character to try to delay the onset of symptoms of air sickness (this would require a "Constituition save to avoid..." rule). I think this rule might need to be revised to take that sort of aspect of the 3e rules into account.
If you want to introduce an effect above 15,000 feet, I think that using the
fatigued condition might also be appropriate (either as well as altitude sickness or instead of it). Any creatures that can bypass fatigue in thin air should (hopefully) already have those rules written for them. Here is a quote to save you clicking:
SRD wrote:A fatigued character can neither run nor charge and takes a -2 penalty to Strength and Dexterity. Doing anything that would normally cause fatigue causes the fatigued character to become exhausted. After 8 hours of complete rest, fatigued characters are no longer fatigued.
I would suggest that "rest" would
not apply to high altitude and that a character would need to travel
below 15,000 feet and spend 8 hours resting
there to get back to normal. I also think that, certain things should escalate the character to the
exhausted condition:
SRD wrote:An exhausted character moves at half speed and takes a -6 penalty to Strength and Dexterity. After 1 hour of complete rest, an exhausted character becomes fatigued. A fatigued character becomes exhausted by doing something else that would normally cause fatigue.
Again, I think that the character should spend 1 hour resting
below 15,000 feet to drop down to fatigued.
If you use all three of these conditions together, then you are going to limit the amount of time a PC can spend that high. As they push themselves to the limit, they will suffer more ill effects.
Gawain_VIII wrote:Above 20,000’ altitude, oxygen-breathing characters and creatures begin to suffocate (see DMG Chapter 8, “Suffocation”). Special breathing gear, magical items, or spells such as create air and survival (created by Alphatian mages for use in their skyships) can help keep characters alive above 20,000 feet.
I've just looked at the SRD and it is a bit of a mess, with rules about this scattered around. Firstly you have two types of
suffocation. And secondly, the
Endurance feat and even the
Swim skill have stuff to say on the subject!
I think it might be worth reviewing these things (perhaps in another thread if you want to avoid clutter) so that Mystara Campaign Setting can sort out the mess and present GMs with a system that takes everything into account.
I personally think that you should be going with the slow suffocation below the Skyshield (as it is the least lethal of the two rules). Above the Skyshield the standard suffocation (the more lethal) would probably be more appropriate as the person has no air with them (and when they breath out they are screwed). My reason for arguing the split like this is that, below the Skyshield the character
may be able to attempt to suck a few bits of oxygen from the air, while in vacuum they obviously cannot. The fact that they are in "dead air" rather than "no air" should make some sort of mechanical difference. If you were to make the split this way, then I think the feel of a character going that high, would be more akin to them burning up the remaining oxygen reserves in their lungs and blood.
I think the standard slow suffocation rule will still need a tweak:
SRD wrote:Slow Suffocation
A Medium character can breathe easily for 6 hours in a sealed chamber measuring 10 feet on a side. After that time, the character takes 1d6 points of nonlethal damage every 15 minutes. Each additional Medium character or significant fire source (a torch, for example) proportionally reduces the time the air will last. When a character falls unconscious from this nonlethal damage, she drops to -1 hit points and is dying. In the next round, she suffocates.
Small characters consume half as much air as Medium characters. A larger volume of air, of course, lasts for a longer time.
First, they are not in a sealed chamber, so that needs to go. Other characters and things like fire would also not make a difference in open air. And I also think that volume would not make a difference. Perhaps you could cut this down to something a bit more like this:
modified by Big Mac wrote:Above 20,000’ Altitude
Above 20,000’ altitude a character begins to slowly suffocate. The character takes 1d6 points of nonlethal damage every 15 minutes. When a character falls unconscious from this nonlethal damage, she drops to -1 hit points and is dying. In the next round, she suffocates.
Gawain_VIII wrote:There is no atmosphere beyond the Skyshield—either around MYSTARA or within he HOLLOW WORLD. Unprotected characters caught in the airless void are considered to be holding their breath from the time they leave the atmosphere. Even if they can survive the lack of air, characters exposed to the void beyond MYSTARA for more than ten minutes must make a Fortitude save (see DMG Chapter 8, “Cold Dangers”). Within the HOLLOW WORLD, the void is merely pleasantly cool.
According to the SRD,
cold dangers are dependent on temperature. So you are going to need to set a temperature for space to make 3e Mystara work**.
** = Arg! All these "gatecrashing" rules are going to have everyone turning to C&C!
From the fact that you have set your saves every ten minutes, I can reverse engineer your post to see that you
seem to be suggesting that the temperature of space is between 0 degrees and -19 detrees Fahrenheit. (Once the temperature drops to -20 the damage becomes lethal and the checks rise to once per minute.)
I assume the space between the Hollow World and its sun is above 40 degrees Fahrenheit as you don't suggest a check.