Angel Tarragon in 2018

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Angel Tarragon in 2018

Postby Angel Tarragon » Mon Jan 01, 2018 4:08 am

I've been gaming for 26 years. I't been a roller coaster of of a ride, with some very high points; getting to meet a few of the designers that I loved following...Gary Gygax, Monte Cook and Ed Greenwood. 2017 has been a very good year to me...even though I struggled a lot in 2017 I have found a sense of peace that has been eluding me for a very long time. A part of this has been from not actively pursuing interests in TTRPGS, while I have been collecting, playing and homebrewing since I became a gamer, it is time to put it away.

I am not putting myself away as a gamer, just shelving the interest. I need to do this for my own betterment. I started gaming in the cusp of high school. It was a distraction I needed to escape from the harshness of my reality. While good things came from gaming, bad things have as well. I'd love for the good to outweigh the bad, but it doesn't. I should have applied myself harder in my studies...but because I was hurting so much and had no better outlet, I turned to TTRPGs...over studying and over trying hard enough to being a good student. I was blessed enough to graduate high school, but not enough motivation to see through to two years of college...I didn't even complete one full year of community college. I don't have much to show for myself; what I do have is some publishing credits but nothing enough to propel towards what I want out of my life.

It is time for me to take at least one thing in my life seriously. And even though I am retired and receive enough money to pay for my expenses by living with my flat-mate, I want more for myself. I am overly blessed to have everything I do, but I am never going to stop wanting, to stop desiring enough financial security to be able to support myself on my own. As expensive as the hobby has gotten and out of hand as my collecting of rpg books has gotten, it is time to stop so that I have a motivation to do something better for myself.

I am not quitting gaming, I still intend on playing. What I do need is more control over my desire to acquire. As much as I have loved The Piazza forums and as much as I value everyone here and the friendships I have made, it is time for me to to let go of the gaming collection of books I have built for myself and the need to connect with other gamers on gaming forums. I don't want us to stop being friends, but I need to stop visiting these forums as seeing the discussion on gaming topics is enough for me to think that maybe I might have made a mistake in purging my collection and second guessing my decision to move on to other things. It is entirely possible in the future that I will return to these forums, but for now I need to stop. I love all of you for having welcomed me on these forums, as I needed it at the the time. I hope to continue to interact with all of you online, just away from these forums. I love all of you for the friendship you have extended to me, and for all the good you have brought into my life.

For now I must leave, but I am hopeful that it won't be forever.
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Re: Angel Tarragon in 2018

Postby Big Mac » Mon Jan 01, 2018 12:45 pm

Good luck Angel.
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Re: Angel Tarragon in 2018

Postby Havard » Mon Jan 01, 2018 4:06 pm

Take care :)

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Re: Angel Tarragon in 2018

Postby RobJN » Mon Jan 01, 2018 9:33 pm

You do you, Angel, and know you'll be welcome back on any of my threads here and at my gaming table whenever you choose to return. I'll keep an eye on you from the Facebooks, if you stay there
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Re: Angel Tarragon in 2018

Postby shesheyan » Wed Jan 03, 2018 1:20 am

Angel Tarragon wrote:I am not quitting gaming, I still intend on playing. What I do need is more control over my desire to acquire.

I get you. Social media can be enablers for people like me who buy way too much games per year. I've learned to curb my buying habits in the last few years. Face-to-face social activity is a great helper.

Good luck !
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Re: Angel Tarragon in 2018

Postby Angel Tarragon » Wed Jan 03, 2018 6:49 pm

Thanks everyone. I'll still be around on Facebook and elsewhere online.
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